Denying tiredness

 

Mary didn’t know what to do with her distressed two year old daughter Lilly, who would say she wasn’t tired even passed the point of hardly being able to keep her eyes open. Lilly would insist on carrying on and on past her natural bed-time each evening and was always exhausted.

 

I asked Mary straight out who else in their family had this behavior. It only took a few moments for her to reflect and say “It’s me. I go on and on, in fact I don’t know how I stay standing I’m so tired all the time. And I always say, no, I’m fine, I’m not tired”.

 

With this clear recognition of her own behavior, I suggested that Mary start sleeping or resting when tired, and being honest. After only 24 hours her daughter’s behavior had changed. Mary was obviously surprised at this turn of events, but she had recognized her own behavior so clearly that the necessary change had already occurred. Although this was a very fast response, the children do normally respond extremely fast in families, because the parent’s behaviours are like beacons sending out unspoken messages and rules into the family environment. Once they are recognized and seen for what they are, they instantly start to transform and dissolve. And because children are not yet so hardened and set in their ways, they respond extremely quickly… Please let that be an inspiration to you as a parent to look at yourself as honestly as you can, because your own efforts can have such profoundly supportive influences on your children.